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I was in a coffee shop recently and overheard a lady say to the cashier, “I’m back with my complicated order that you always mess up.” And at first I thought it must be a joke. Must be, right? Maybe she knew the cashier and was kidding around. I quickly realized though that it wasn’t a joke at all. When she left the store, all of the baristas began to share stories of trying to avoid this particular customer and her frequent complaints.
Now, I did not hear the actual drink order, so I have no idea how complicated it actually was. Nor do I know how badly it was messed up that day or in the past. It is quite possible that her order was often incorrect and if that’s the case, I’m sure that would be annoying. I get it. If you’re paying for coffee, you want it to taste the way you like it. Finally, she didn’t use a rude tone of voice and didn’t even leave upset or angry. BUT, it was clear when she left that her words did not go unnoticed and they certainly did not make the employees feel valued or appreciated. The exact opposite in fact.
And I thought how many times do I do this same thing?
How many times do I make remarks (even jokingly sometimes) that belittle or criticize those around me? One example sticks out vividly in my mind.
It’s the dishes. I don’t love washing them. It is one of my least favorite chores because I just don’t feel like I can ever keep up with them. They are never done. I always find the straggling snack cup just after I’ve let out the water and dried my hands. Do you know who also doesn’t love the dishes? I’ll tell you. Hubs. But one Friday night, he offered to do them as he often does when they are piled up. I thanked him and went upstairs. When he joined me later, I asked if they were done. He told me they weren’t and before letting him continue to tell me that that he’d rinsed them all off and was planning to do them in the morning, I blurted out, “Oh, I figured they weren’t.”
Ouch.
He wasn’t angry, but I could tell that it stung. And frankly, it just wasn’t a nice thing to say. In hindsight, how much more gracious could I have been had I only 1) let him finish what he was saying; 2) trust that he would do what he said; and 3) been thankful for his service even if it wasn’t right away.
The whole point of this is that our words are important.
The Bible has a lot to say about kind words.
“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” Ephesians 4:29
“Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.” Colassians 4:6
“Let the words of my heart and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight O LORD, my rock & my redeemer.” Psalm 19:14
“Kind words are like honey – sweet to the soul & healthy for the body.” Proverbs 16:24
“The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” Proverbs 12:18
Our words can build up or tear down. We choose to speak life or death to others with the words we use.
How easy is it to jokingly tear someone down? Complain about things that aren’t going our way? How often do we do this without even realizing it? It’s like words just spill right out of our mouths and we don’t even consider their impact.
[ctt template=”2″ link=”9F389″ via=”no” ]Words are powerful. Use them kindly. #choosekindness via @livewellplaytog[/ctt]Oh be careful little mouth what you say. I’d like to encourage all of us to pay attention to the words we say. To speak with grace and patience and understanding – to ourselves and those around us. We all have a choice to make with the words we use. Let’s do more building up.
This is such a good reminder! My humor tends to be more on the sarcastic side, and as I’ve gotten older I’ve learned that what I mean as a joke can often get taken too seriously, and it’s not a problem with them being too sensitive, it’s me being too caustic. If it doesn’t build others up, I shouldn’t be saying it.
This was a tough lesson for me to learn. I used to be WAY more sarcastic, but I really do try to remember this.
You are so right! Thank you for stopping by, Susie!
Words can majorly impact our lives, just a few words can change the way we feel instantly! This is such a lovely post! Thanks for sharing 🙂
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They really are. And it is just the worst when you don't use them carefully and realize immediately that they were sharper than you intended – they can hurt! This was a good reminder for me as well!
It was definitely a good reminder for me!
Yes! I strive to use my words to build others up, not tear them down! <3
This is such important truth!! Thank you for this reminder. Our words are so powerful, and we often don't even notice the subtle ways they can tear down instead of build up if we're not careful of them. Love your honesty and your heart! <3